the will to death

choking with my own saliva
love, look what you've done..
keep thinking of words i wish i'd forget.
my room's full of smoke and mirrors
empty bottles full of stubs
archive singing violently that feeble melody
you know, the one i sang for you.
cold hands trembling, love
me mumbling words, something like love, love
love, isn't it what made you nervous, love?
love, isn't it forbidden?
love, love, love, now i can scream it on the phone
yes, i can piss you off again, you know?
but you ain't listening, you ain't listening..
love, i'm talking about love, if you know what i'm saying.
no disrespect, but that's what you are, love.
what you've never felt, love, what you'll never feel.
i suppose.
thought i knew, but i didn't
thought you cared, but you didn't.
being afraid of your everything
but still being afraid of everything without you.
love, i hate you.