d.

fitter, happier, more productive..
see? she's right in front of her mirror
more productive..
she ain't coming back in her perfectly shaped bubble
not drinking too much..
she once used to live in the magic valley
regular exercise at the gym..
expected herself to love or to be loved
3 days a week..
pauses in her head, fears in her heart
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries..
it was the price she paid for happiness
at ease, eating well..
she was a day-dreamer
no more microwave dinners and saturated fats..
she owed that black and white tree, called ecstasy
a patient better driver, a safer car..
sour memories, no more!
baby smiling in back seat..
she faked a smile
sleeping well..
they accuse but she has no excuse
no bad dreams, no paranoia..
such a blissful ignorance
careful to all animals..
she was the queen of her dominion
no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants..
mourning for lost melodies
car wash, also on sundays..
eyes dimmed with tears, for sounds that don't exist
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows..
sounds discordant
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate..
looks like invisible puppets in a drama film
nothing so childish, at a better pace..
like the phantom in the crowd
slower and more calculated..
all she did was mumbling a word, CIRCLE
no chance of escape, now self-employed..
mimes, in a role that doesn't fit
concerned but powerless..
hope was the conqueror, human is the worm
an empowered and informed member of society..
she had a wan smile in her mouth, lucky her
pragmatism not idealism..
the shiny star mumbled she still had her throne
will not cry in public..
soul - a darkened glass of mystery
less chance of illness, tires that grip in the wet..
spirited, haunted, stranger between strangers
shot of baby strapped in back seat..
death left its scar
a good memory..
the feeble light OF eternity
still cries at a good film, still kisses with saliva..
but she was crying out for a breath
no longer empty and frantic..
only this and nothing more
like a cat tied to a stick..
but the stars never talk, poor girl
that's driven into frozen winter shit..
out of time
the ability to laugh at weakness..
the curtain falls
calm, fitter, healthier and more productive..
end of story
a pig in a cage on antibiotics|||
is it LIFE or something?

breathe me

γιατί
ξέρω,
ξέρεις,
ξέρουμε,
ξέρουν,
όλοι το ξέρουν, βαρέθηκα,
υποκείμενο ο εφιάλτης, αντικείμενο η ανία, βαρέθηκα
να σκέφτομαι, βαρέθηκα
το χάος, βαρέθηκα
τα ασπρόμαυρα καμουφλάζ, βαρέθηκα,
βαρέθηκα
εσένα
κι εμένα
να καθόμαστε αγκαλιά
με ένα κουτί για κάθε καρδιά, δύο πες,
αν μπορείς να πεις
και να ακούμε,
να ακούμε το ρολόι, τικ τακ,
τα λεπτά
να περνούν βασανιστικά,
να προσπαθώ να αναπνέυσω, να αργοπεθαίνω, τικ τακ
κι εσύ να με κοιτάς δαίμονα, να με κοιτάς με μάτια κενά, θολά,
κραυγές να αντηχούν ψίθυροι στ'αυτιά μου,
δε μιλάς,
κανείς δε σου 'μαθε να μιλάς,
φάντασμα του μυαλού μου,
σαν άλλη ψεύτικη μαριονέτα μου, τικ τακ,
οι ακατανόητες κινήσεις
ο απρόσκλητος επισκέπτης σε όνειρο,
μελωδική, ελκυστική αυτοκαταστροφή,
πάψε,
μη μιλάς,
ούρλιαξε,
μπορείς;
σε μισώ, σε μισώ,
παράνοια, ανόητε, μικρέ,
τι ονόματα και τι μισόλογα,
ανόητε,
γελοίε άνθρωπε,
απάνθρωπε,
δήθεν
δήθεν
δήθεν
εραστή,
μίλα,
μπορείς;
αναμνήσεις δηλητήριο, στριγγλιές,
να φωνάζω, να ουρλιάζω, να παρακαλώ, να ικετεύω,
η φωνή μου να πλημμυρίζει το σάπιο δωμάτιο
αποτυχίες μιας ζωής, γυάλινος κόσμος,
μάλλον σκάσε, σκάσε, μη μιλάς, μίλα, μη μιλάς
μίλα μου, λίγο, μόνο λίγο,
αλλεπάλληλα συναισθήματα, ασυναίσθητα,
συνειδητά και ασυνείδητα
υπάρχω,
καμιά φορά
υπάρχεις
κι εσύ.
λυπάμαι,
βαρέθηκα.

*Lost myself again and I feel unsafe*